Sunday, January 30, 2011

Day 8 of 22 (Did Eve feel like this about the APPLE?)

Some of you may be wondering why the title of this entry is conjuring the imagery of “The Garden of Eden” and Eve taking that “bite” that has echoed for millennia. Well it is because due to one piece of “fun-sized” candy I have felt shame, lack of control and utter failure. Then you may be thinking “why are you beating yourself up about one piece of candy?” Well it all started last Sunday on day 1 of this 22 days of healthier living. While at church, the pastor announced an idea that assume has been brewing since before I started to attend. The idea was that the church members were to fast from sugary items (such as candy, juice and soft drinks) and also fast food for the period of 7 days. Although I am not officially a member of this church as of yet I said “this is easy enough, you can do this” We today is Sunday again and I can assure I didn’t. It all started with one poorly planned day, a hunger headache and a “fun-sized” Kit-Kat bar. It possibly was Wednesday or so when this happened. I forgot to pack my lunch or was running so behind I didn’t have time to pack it before work. I was so tired and hungry at the same time because I’ve been so busy this week with my non-profit work. I resisted as long as I could…and I asked my supervisor for a piece of candy. Temptations present themselves in all sorts of ways. The whole point of fasting I thought was to give up something to show your devotion and self discipline. My supervisor (she is also morbidly obese) has fun-sized candy that is given on my payday Fridays. There is always more than what is needed, so throughout the week, many employees go in her desk a steal a piece and she’s ok with it. I knew that candy was there. I said to myself “don’t ask for it, you’ll be home in about an hour…just wait” But my headache said “you better eat something because I am going to give you a thrashing if you don’t!” LOL. I know that probably sounds crazy that my headache has a voice but anyway! So I caved and ate that sugary little chocolate wafer and immediately after thought “you JUST broke your fast”. Then I said “no one will know…I don’t have to snitch myself”. Then it was like “now you a liar!”…so it just got worse. From then, I also have not been feeling that well so after another day or two I had a soda and some fast food from lack of energy to cook. As I ate that “Cook-out“ burger (NC residents know about that) I said “oh, might as well, you already broke the fast anyway.” I just felt so bad afterward. I know we all make mistakes and the whole point of this blog is to encourage myself and others as they are on their journeys as well.
I am proclaiming this week will be better! It must be better! As I continue on my weight loss journey and journey to know what a “walk w/ God” really means, I will continue to blog not only my successes but my failures as well. Thanks for reading.This is my journey, let’s see where this goes.
See ya later Naturally Random Lovlies!
~ Naturally Random

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